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Vodka is Vegan
Use a Coaster or I Will Poke You in the Eye
If Zombies Chase Us I'm Tripping You (Nothing Personal)
I'm Not TryingTo Be Difficult It Just Comes Naturally
I don't just ride the crazy train I drive it
Whiskey Improves with Age and I Improve with Whiskey
This Alcohol Tastes Like I am Not Going To Work Tomorrow
Feeling Kinda IDGAF-ish Today
Adulting Difficult AF Would Not Recommend
Do you respect wood?
Sometimes I Drink Water to Surprise My Liver
Be Classy and Shit Use a coaster
Place Drink Here Dumbass
I Tried to Jog but the Ice Cubes Kept Falling Out of My Glass
My Tolerance for Alcohol is Way Higher Than my Tolerance for People
Don't Fuck Up the Table
I'm Not a Hot Mess I'm a Spicy Disaster
My Relationship with Whiskey is on the Rocks
I Said No To Alcohol but It Just Doesn't Listen
It's not a Dad bod... It's a Father figure
This Table is Italian It's worth more than your life!
I Love Water Especially Frozen into Cubes & Surrounded By Whiskey
Hangovers are Temporary Drunk Stories are Forever
Alcohol doesn't make you fat.. It makes you lean against tables chairs and walls
